Me on the phone: Yeah I’m going to be late to work today.
Supervisor: Why?
Me: There’s a cat gang bang happening on top of my car.
Supervisor: (silence)
Supervisor: Well can’t you break it up?
Me: Who am I to break up a cat gang bang? They’ve probably been organizing it for days on Craigslist.
Supervisor: Good point. See you when you get here.
(via toomanyfandomsforoneurl)
There once was a young boy with a very bad temper. The boy’s father wanted to teach him a lesson, so he gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper he must hammer a nail into their wooden fence.
On the first day of this lesson, the little boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. He was really mad!
Over the course of the next few weeks, the little boy began to control his temper, so the number of nails that were hammered into the fence dramatically decreased.
It wasn’t long before the little boy discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Then, the day finally came when the little boy didn’t lose his temper even once, and he became so proud of himself, he couldn’t wait to tell his father.
Pleased, his father suggested that he now pull out one nail for each day that he could hold his temper.
Several weeks went by and the day finally came when the young boy was able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
Very gently, the father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
“You have done very well, my son,” he smiled, “but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.”
The little boy listened carefully as his father continued to speak.
“When you say things in anger, they leave permanent scars just like these. And no matter how many times you say you’re sorry, the wounds will still be there.”
;_____;
this is probably the greatest thing i’ve ever seen in my entire life
wow
YES. ON FUCKING POINT.
what? this isn’t a nude beach this is a nerd beach who’s ready to catch some .wavs
(via foreveralone-lyguy)
im crying because did disney miss the part where she DIDNT WANT TO DRESS UP FOR THE CEREMONY IN THE MOVIE? NO? OK WERE GONNA IGNORE THAT.
(via toomanyfandomsforoneurl)
What if our actual lives involve saving the world with our friends and doing really epic stuff
but in this dimension we’re in someone’s high school AU fanfiction or something
well what a shitty fanfiction this is
it doesn’t even have smut
it’s just angst and tragedy
(via toomanyfandomsforoneurl)
I want to marry whoever has the url outbox
I’m down
(via curiousclaraoswin)
The fact that Robert Downey Jr is threatening to leave Marvel unless Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett basically all his Marvel buddies get a pay raise really shows you that he is a great man, a human being, and never thinks of himself above others even if he jokes that he is above everyone else all the time.
He is Tony Stark
(via screaming-castiel)
J.K Rowling added this to the series.
i can’t feel anymore
(via free-the-moose)
